License to Blog.

In Florida a crime of fashion can land you in the slammer. No joke.
According to this news cast, a guy was stopped by police for illegally wearing baggy pants.
There’s an actual law against it.

What’s more disheartening, than the guy being busted for something so arbitrary, is they refer to his trousers as “saggy” and his “droopy drawers” like he has some kind of embarrassing personal dysfunction. Not cool, news people… not cool. If you look at the video, though, his shorts aren’t even really baggy. The only crime he appears to be committing, is showing off his ridiculously cut abs. Which must be illegal in some state where the lawmakers are unfit and overzealous. Like, say, Alaska.

While exploiting the tasty grapes of Wine Country this weekend– laced with flavors of oak, pepper, chocolate covered cherries, bird shit, and the like– it occurred to me that at $40+/per bottle, I’d really like to learn the joys and nuances of cheaper wine.

Then it struck me… why are there no poor man’s guides to wine pairing? Like, what wine does pair well with Taco Bell? A nice Savignon Blanc from the corner gas station perhaps. And what goes with Wendy’s? How ’bout a delicious Five Oaks Chardonnay sold exclusively at Rite Aid at 2 for $5 (plus $1 off coupon).

It’s honestly quite good. But you wonder what the heck is in that wine that its so yummy and cost effective? Not sure about you, but I don’t think I want to know. Just kick back and enjoy it like its the hot dog of the wine industry. Contents may include the lips and assholes of grapes.

Probably not. But if humans are smart enough to make money off of crows, why has there not been more blatant crow-sploitation. If you watch this video, like me, you will start brainstorming your own ways to embezzle money from wildlife. So far all I got is coin-operated roach motel massage beds. Maybe a long shot, but if they’re anything like the insects that haunt my apartment, they’re just looking to kick back and have a good time.

My week started with a Dodger game and ended with a Red Carpet. How more LA can it get? But wait, there’s more… An earthquake en route to my movie’s screening! A 5.8 in Chino Hills. Oddly enough, as long as I’ve lived here, I’ve always been out of town for the quakes you can feel. In almost 9 years, this was really my first.

Just finished reading “Rebel Without A Crew,” Robert Rodriguez’s book about the making of and the success that followed “El Mariachi.” It was inspiring, and nice to see there are other freaks out there who’ll work as a crew of one to get a movie made.

Still deciding what my next project is… have a few things I’d like to shoot, but my law documentary is probably itching to be finished first.

Seems the only way to save money on gas these days is to drive less or learn how to siphon from a friend you’ve never met. It just cost me a whopping $75 to fill up my 4 cylinder sedan! Granted my car might not be the most aerodynamic …but troubling nonetheless.

There’s an even more disturbing phenomenon to hit the fair City of Angels, though– No hand held phones while driving. Since its illegalality earlier this month, people have seemed to find plenty more time now to be shitty, aggressive drivers. Awesome! The truth is, Angelenos are multi-taskers at heart. Most folks have some kind of eating-whilst-juggling-kittens-and-checking-themselves-out-while-driving talent that they practice. I guess what I’m saying is, cell phones aren’t necessarily the worst distraction out there.

I think I’m going to a Dodgers game this weekend! For the record, I won’t be driving.

You know a band is cool when they wear t-shirts for other different bands… It’s like “we’re so cool, we’re not even into us.” I hope someday that same mentality is picked up by the advertising industry. We’ll start seeing ads of Velveeta dreaming about how it wants some swiss cheese. (Insert hilarious visual here.) I’m sorry, I’m totally distracted– I have my ipod on shuffle and it just landed on “Office Sound Effects.” This happens all the time. I’ll be rocking out to Ladytron or something and suddenly I’ll be listening to sounds of dot matrix printers and jungle noises (two separate tracks– although if you live in the jungle and you have a printer, it’s probably a dot matrix).

On a separate but related note, my friend’s band is playing tonight, Wed. July 16th, at Spaceland. Check ‘em out if you can. Sam is not only a talented director and photographer, but his band rocks!

I got notice a few weeks ago that my film Without A Hitch was selected is a finalist at Moondance. I was ecstatic! Celebrated! Couldn’t wait to fly out to see the project on the big screen! Turns out, however, it won’t actually be screening there. After my celebration turned to disappointment, and morphed back to “hey, it’s still a finalist!” I got an automated email from but another festival. So if the automated email didn’t lie (and when do they, spam is always factual)… it’s time to celebrate again! Because we’re going to the West Hollywood International Film Festival!!!

Do you think afterwards, these guys looked at the portrait of themselves
and were like… hey, man, why’d you have to paint us so gay?

Farm vehicles don’t typically make a person feel insecure. But who can feel good about their own achievements when faced with such a talented tractor.

Being on Facebook is like having a whiny little bitch friend. It’s programmed to gossip about you and all your other friends and what you’re up to. Why can’t I play Scramble at 3am without all my friends getting emailed about my latest feat in word discovery?!

Recently, Facebook wronged me in a way that I am reluctant to admit. But I’ll just say it. It announced that I rented “27 Dresses.” Which brings up 2 questions. One, why is Blockbuster rental info hooked up to Facebook? And two, is it trying to embarrass me?! What’s next, is my doctor’s office gonna start writing to my wall? “Sari’s blood pressure just went up to 150 over 110.” “Sari has heartburn.” But why didn’t Facebook decide to announce when I got cooler movies like Brick or Juno. As much as I like to support women directors (Anne Fletcher directed 27 Dresses), why can’t there be more women directed projects that are fucking cool? Off hand I can only think of a handful of projects that women directed that aren’t chick flicks: Fast Times At Ridgemont High (Amy Heckerling), Lost In Translation (Sofia Coppola), Big (Penny Marhsall) for starters….

While I don’t have anything against girlie movies, and my own creations are oft described as ‘charming’ (Little CEO, Without A Hitch), someday I want to be the girl who directs the next Fight Club meets Old School.